its just going to keep on

i have to stop doing this to myself i realize that now. i keep letting myself get wrapped in hardly anything at all and i don't know why. i mean i know its just who i am. i always seem to dive into things not always sure of what i'm doing at the time but i take chances way too much and then end up where i am now not knowing what is going on and wondering what i'm doing back at this square again.

but why is it wrong to keep on like this? i know it stains my heart and i keep running into a wall sometimes but i learn from all of this and i can get over everything that has happened so i don't care if you want to leave my reminders cuz this new boy is mysterious and i hate it almost as much as i like it. why cant we just be open? i'm almost ready to just take things into my own hands but is that the way you should really go? but why not?

tell him

I love this song. here's to new beginnings and not feeling completely helpless but mostly numb to the idea you're out there looking for me and somehow i'm meant to find you.