como fue

I can always say that i have and will always love you for the rest of my life. the man that made my life possible. the man that sang this song to me every time he saw me growing up. the man that brought my family out of such diversity. who helped give me the hope that i have always had in the idea of an everlasting love that could be between two human beings who were utter soul mates from the first sight of each other. I have kept everything you have ever given me. never to let anything go that had anything to do with you. and i know now i have to let you go. and i know now i have to let everything go. and i can't. but i will try because its the only thing you could have ever asked of me. but you have to know that i will always love you. i will always keep you in my heart. and i will never lose the memory that has always been you in my heart. and i might just lose myself when i have to lose you. but all i can do is hope that you will be back in the bakery with your father just the way you were when he left you.

i always love you pipo.
you have and always will continue to be in this life and the next, my one and only grandfather.

keep it simple

I don't need the confusion i need it simple. i want it simple. i need to feel like there isn't anything you can't tell me. i'll throw away the drama if you are honest from the start. i'll never speak of it again if i know i can trust you. i don't need need any confusion in my world. i already have enough going on. i already have enough flowing through my mind. knowing that i had to take a step i always knew needed to be done but never would have done it because i always though i had the lid on this honey pot firmly in place. but its funny the way things turn and surprise you the way they do. it felt good. it felt right to finally get an outside view of what it was like to live my life. and hearing a perspective that i never even looked to think of. because this life with me is crazy and i'm hoping you can handle all of the things you're going to have to hear and deal with because no one has been able to hold on for too long and i'm hoping you can because i'm going to need you. i'm going to need you when i'm feeling like i'm not worth your time and you reminding me you do all of this for love.

but sometimes i need a little input i need you to do more than just listen. i need to hear opinions so i know i'm not just letting it out i'm getting some insight. i understand being a man of few words especially because i'm a woman of many but i need to know i can shut up and listen too. and sometimes i don't feel that way with you. its ok just to say what you're thinking even if its not what i necessarily want to hear because its the only way i'm going to be able to make sense of things in my head.