the lake

After all this time, i still find it amazing that words still find their way out of the mouths of snakes. it might not be the most proper or rational way to describe the people that were ripped out of my life for the fascades they lived. He still finds it necessary to try and come into contact with me even though he knows that it was he who put the whole story to an end. so why find it necessary after all this time to once again tap me on the shoulder to remind you are still there? just let it go and let it be. what were the words he sang? o yes. "get it together or leave it alone" as michael had once said it. my only rational choice is to ignore the invitation. Don't get me wrong, the curiosity is there, but this cat wants to keep her life. I'm done with all of that so there is no point in trying to find out why he would be trying to talk to me now. there is just now point and it just doesn't matter anymore. my life is better now than before.

i can smell the roses in the air, and it only goes to show that there is something in the midst of all of this. and i can't get enough of breathing it in. I want to forget everything i once was and hold on to this now. i see a future that is looking pretty bright. only because i can see the importance in his eyes and it means something to me. means something more to me than thinking it can just be thrown away. so i'll throw myself in the middle of everything i know he is, and go for what i know is right. what i know is right for me. fear never tried so hard, but love never earned so much.

i still get a little confused at the situation. she says she saw what i was talking about all along. the tension that exists in this purgatory whenever you are near me. unfortunately for you, my feelings have disappated because i've found something new i can't get enough of. but i see it in you, that your feelings still linger no matter how much you deny it. it was there written on the wall for even him to see. i could feel the anger as you turned away from me. but what can i say? what can i do? when i moved on after you said no? i accepted you for what you said, i can't feel any kind of regret or guilt because i honestly don't. i'm happy where i am, and i know now that you will be here whether you are with me or not just to be in my life next to me. i appreciate that for everything it is. you would never leave me side, because it says something when you are the first one to wish me good morning and a happy birthday.