only in my dreams

I can still remember the scene. the way it was living in the desert and driving along as the sun was coming up over the mountains covered in fresh snow and gave off this amazing purple blue yellow sky that would take anyone's breath away. There was only the sound of the cd that i was listening to which i can't remember what it was now. but i just remembered how peaceful it was and how peaceful i was. just in that moment. and i wish so badly to be back in that moment when everything felt so serene. i know its just a day dream but i can still dream. Because now i'm here thinking about the downward sprial my life is taking and i'm almost at a loss for what to do now. i want to leave so bad and just run away from everything. but i know that it would only be a mistake to leave now. i have to keep fighting for everything but i'm just so tired and worn out. but i know giving up is not my option. Somehow some way things will turn around. i don't know when and i don't know how but i'm keeping my faith in the idea that they will. because i'm dying to feel the peace i found in the desert that one morning when my life was changing. and although i keep feeling like i'm losing every time i look around. i'm hoping that somewhere i'll win. so i'll keep holding on to optimism and hope its hoping for me too