something

i keep letting things get to me and my old friend tells me that letting it go is something i'm so good at and he knows i can do it yet again. but its hard to get my mind to be itself when its in this vulnerable state it isn't used to. its like a foreign land of insecurities when there is no need to have any. and i'm pushing through these adversities by myself. yet i'm not by myself but with her gone i keep feeling like i'm losing all by myself. and i can let this go because deep down i know i should because we both got what we wanted and it only makes sense to keep it at that now. so i'm going to stop because i should and you're not going to start because i know you. you might not think so but i know you. and there is this conscience that wants to find him just to see how he's doing because deep down i cared for him like a close friend and wondering how his well being is, is something i had done for a while and now i have to let it all go because he isn't over it and its only better that i let it go. but i just can't. but i have to and so i will. so here i go one day at a time like everyone says like its something so easy, and i want to live this life and just start all over again because that would make it so much easier and so i will. and so i'll move on past all of this because i should. and there will always be someone else and when the day comes that there isn't i'll be satisfied knowing all of this will be gone. so here i go starting over hoping that the day paris comes isn't so far away and in the grip of hands reach