Round two

I put too much hope into the wrong places and then wonder how I got there. But I'm giving it all up now. I'm embracing the numb feeling and just letting go. Just let go.

I can't give up on myself and eventually hopefully this will all make sense. Although right now it just doesn't. I dont get how I end up being the girl they always sleep on. I'm never enough and they always need more than me. And i feel this pain in my chest and my stomach starts to hurt. But at this point it's like magic. All an illusion I could only believe is real. But it never is.

He looks at me. In the eyes. And tells me one thing while I go and read something that makes him look like a liar. Somehow I end up being the bad guy because I made him feel like shit about it. And yet I'm stuck with the hurt feelings like I did something wrong. When I was the honest one.

I knew it all along. And really there isn't anything to say or do but accept the pain i know all too well. I wasn't meant for love and it wasn't meant for me. He's been right all my life. It was never meant for me. I keep trying to fight it but I think now I'm finally letting it all go. I cant keep helping the ones that only want something from me. I'm done with it all. I'm over it all.

I just don't care anymore .