Time Flies

Some time has passed since the last time i wrote. I know that's my fault letting myself get caught in life too much to write. I almost hate that I let it happen for this long. I feel like as a writer and a creative, there's really no excuse for not writing at least a little every day. I think it gets hard when you're a writer in life as a career. As much as i spend my day writing about things that I might not always want to write about, when I come home i tend to just not want to write. It kind of reminds me of my dad. He has spent over 10 years finishing the construction on my parents house. but he's a general contractor. all he does day in and day out is construction. he once told me that it was hard for him to finish his own creation for himself because he did it every day of his life. i get that now.

I've wanted to finish my novel for so long. There are so many stories in my head that I just want to get out on paper. I always felt like if I did, maybe it would be help someone somewhere. Sometimes i feel like i let out too much. like i let people know too much about me too soon. it can be a good thing and other times it can be bad but sitting with him made me just want to say everything. he just knew what it was like to be in some of the same positions i have had to be in. I haven't really meant anyone that knows what its been like for me in any way. I looked for a support group nearby but they cost too much for me to consider it. and I'm not exactly sure how to categorize myself. is it considered infertility if you had cervical cancer and now have lymphnodes that prevent you from conceiving your own child? I wasn't born with it but it was just something that happened to me. I still have a lot of questions but I guess that's for another time.

anyways, we moved in. for the first time in my life i'm living with a significant other and i have to say, it isn't as weird as i thought it would be. i guess that's because we've practically lived together for the last 2 years, but i thought he would drive me crazy. I thought things would get weird. but they weren't. the weird thing about it all was sleeping in a new place. it almost felt like a hotel. but i've gotten used to it now and its almost been a month. and things are coming together so it is feeling more and more like our home. the place will look much better once our couch gets here.

we celebrated our anniversary and he surprised me with tickets to the stevie wonder concert I had wanted to go to. it was incredible and emotional and probably one of the best concerts i had every gone to and i was so happy to have been there with him. it was just perfect. now everyone keeps asking about the next step in our lives. i'm sure it will happen when it happens but for now i'm happy building our little home living our lives like we are the best friend lovers we've always wanted to be.

so when he looks me in my eye and says, "you know i love you right?" i can smile and say yes and go to sleep at night knowing i'm loved.