its been more than a month in the new apartment. Things are great. I go through these moments when i'm sitting at work thinking of him coming home to me and i'm completely happy. and i realize, i'm ready for all of it. for our lives together.
a week ago his grandmother passed. He handled it much better than i thought and everything seemed okay. until i got back from visiting the kids. He seemed like there was a black cloud over his head. and then he told me he realized he would never speak to her again and its been a while since i've seen that much emotion from him. I can't imagine how terrible i would feel if it was me and my grandmother. I am trying to be as understanding as i can but you realize at some point that you can only be the shoulder to cry on because you're never really going to completely understand unless you're in or have been in that position. but sometimes, being the shoulder is the best thing you can do.
seeing my kids was everything. seeing them smile and miss me and hug me and play video games and basketball only reminds me how much they are my world. how much i would do anything for them. they are everything to me and they are the children i will always hold so dear to my heart.
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