blinding

Seems that I have been held, in some dreaming state
I twist in the waking world, never quite awake
No kiss, no gentle word could wake me from this slumber
Until I realize that it was you who held me under

Felt it in my fist, in my feet, in the hollows of my eyelids
Shaking through my skull, through my spine and down through my ribs

No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone
No more crawling like a crow for a boy, for a body in the garden
No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love
No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love
No more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world

And I could hear the thunder and see the lightning crack
All around the world was waking, I never could go back
Cause all the walls of dreaming, they were torn right open
And finally it seemed that the spell was broken

And all my bones began to shake, my eyes flew open
And all my bones began to shake, my eyes flew open

No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone
No more crawling like a crow for a boy, for a body in the garden
No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love
No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love
No more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world

Someone's stitching up the circuit boards
Someone's slipping through the hidden door
Someone's stitching up the circuit board

No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone
No more crawling like a crow for a boy, for a body in the garden
No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love
No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love
No more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world

Snow White's stitching up the circuit boards
Someone's slipping through the hidden door
Snow White's stitching up the circuit board
Someone's slipping through the hidden door


I'm finding my way out. it breaks my heart but its hard to be broken hearted when there are so many good things coming my way by the end of the month. coming home will be like a rude awakening or it could be a happy event. who knows. and honestly right now i don't care. i'll worry about that when it comes. but i'm starting to open my eyes to everything. you said something had to give. and i think its me. it scares you just as much as it scares me. who knew this unrequited love could be so merciless. but for two people completely stubborn it had to come i guess because i've given up my stubbornness to wait for so long. and all their words are ringing in my ear like an alarm clock. i know they are just words and i haven't let them be my decision maker. my decision maker hasn't even met you yet. and when she does she could be the defining measure that changes everything. because really she's the only real words i've ever listened to. and who knows, maybe she'll be the one to change both of our worlds. because i know she only looks out for what is best for me. so does everyone else but she does it in a way that makes it all real.

that's really all i can say about that right now cause in all honesty i'm kinda over talking about it anymore. i can't change anything right now. and have i ever really been able to in the first place?