In flames

I'm in the middle of the fire and its not even hot enough yet.

I take my 3rd degree burns in strides and I'll continue to take the heat and pray for the best. God knows I'll never stop thanking Hm for the moves I've made and I understand I have to cope with the heat to find the oasis in my mown personal hell. I'm not stepping out of this kitchen to find myself standing next to anyone else but her. Se keeps me from falling apart in all of this. I know I can defend on her consistency and even thou you've showed up to be a nice relief from my trials and tribulations. It's still too early to tell. I'm know for abandonment and you haven't been here long enough for me to know for sure.

I've been doing this on my mown for so long. And when the flames climb higher along my skin, I only machine I'm still in this alone. Finding my way through the flames. I'm going to get past all of this. I know I will. Sometimes it feels like I'm working so hard just to bury myself further into the ground. I know I'll find air that doesn't suffocate eventually. I'm not a pessimistic person just a realistic optimist.

I know I swim in the shark tank on the regular. This is a lifestyle I never wanted to blame you for. And I never will. Just understand I'm a storm to be reckoned wit. A force that is hard to handle. Today. Realize yet again just how severe I can be. I am THE challenge. It might seem enticing but you will get burned at some point or another. Not out of intent but out of my independence.

I have feelings for you they are there and very real. I just see how fickle my life can be sometimes. I won't burn up in flames. I might get too hot to touch from time to time, but the love that's here runs deeper than this fire.

Today it burns n my chest, but tomorrow it will all be another day in the past. God save my soul from being engulfed in the life that pulls me down to hell. My salvation is found in my faith and I believe I will be bigger than the flame eventually.