dream.scream.dream.

I'm starting to see things differently. and although I want to relax in this humbling feeling around you, i still find myself tossing and turning at night. I want to hold you close. I want to whisper in your ear "I think I love you". and hope that everything is going to be okay. We now know what this is. you know now this is for the long haul. I now know you're serious. and when i look into your eyes and your pupils dilate to the scent of my skin, i know there is something there. You caress the lines of skin with such fragility that at times i can't help but melt into you. I want to tell you the fantasies of my thoughts but i hold myself back knowing the mistakes i've made in the past. I give so much of everything and although this time there is no hiding from you. I don't want to invade your space and the space of your freedom. I know you want a certain kind of life without the life i'm taking over involuntarily. The thought of your misery during that time almost makes it hard to believe. I took you to be another version of the rest. once you left, you were gone. but when you walked back into my life, it was with so much force i couldn't deny what was there. it sounds so naive to say out loud but its the truth. you've done nothing but prove to me how much you really care. and when you say you like that picture because you can tell just how happy we are i know that there are things you notice about us. I want to give you what you haven't had before even if what you had before was not at all bad. I want to give you a different experience of what we could be. and i've seen the change in the man you are to notice. there has been a change and positive one and i know now just how much i mean to you. I won't ever change how much that means to me. i can only let go and let God at this point. but so far i can't complain. you come home and its like i'm home for the very first time. and when i'm the first girl you've ever had to really work for, don't worry about domesticating me, just hold on tight and get ready for the ride.