real, really? really...

i don't know why i'm starting to think maybe i jumped into this without asking you more questions to put my mind at rest. i'm starting to think you only asked because you knew i was leaving. but i'd like to hope i'm wrong and you asked me because you realize that i really do keep you as balanced as you said. but i'm not sure how much you really want this. in fact, do you want this? i think this could all just be in my head because i'm wondering why you haven't really made any plans to see me, or call or anything. and i know its still super early, but still. i was really happy right at the start and i think you could've been too. but today was different. today it was weird to say out loud because i realized i didn't know if you actually asked me to be your girlfriend cause you didn't use the word girlfriend. but maybe i'm just crazy and over thinking the whole thing. and being overly emotional about it right now and its quite possible since i didn't see that happening at all. i just figured you would sing the same tune and tell me you didn't want to be in the relationship. but you didn't and you said different and i think i'm just really starting to believe that its too good to be true. i don't know, i feel like my head is spinning a little. but i'll leave it alone for now.