Day One

I know you still think about the times we had...

I landed and it didn't hit me. I was too busy thinking of getting to the shuttle to get to the train station to make the train in time. I looked out the window when I was in the shuttle and realized this is my home now. But it reminded me too much of LA for me to really feel it yet. Then I hurried to the get my ticket. Got on the train. Found my seat. Sat there for 45 minutes thinking, I need to say good bye. I need to message him and just say good bye. But I didn't. I didn't say anything. I didn't say anything. because neither did you.

I'm just sayin' you could do better. Tell me if you've heard that lately. I'm just sayin' you could do better. And i'll start hatin' only if you make me.

I still have my friends and i've been getting calls and texts non stop. It makes me feel good, and ready to get this life started. I have a game plan and i'm going to work towards it. Starting Wednesday I'm going to be working my way through the city to get what I can find. I just hope its all in the cards. Love wasn't for me right now and I get that. I understand that. I just wish you would've said good bye. No matter how much you think I hate you or how much i might actually very much dislike you. No matter how much you broke my heart. You know you still think about me sometimes. You know somewhere I still mean something to you. And after everything we've been through. You should have said something. Why didn't you say anything? fear? I guess that would make sense. IT would only mean you haven't changed at all. You still let the fear decide for you. And that makes me sad for you. And leaves you with regrets. Knowing you lost the chance.

Because now i'm so far gone.