love lost

is it really selfish when you say you shouldn't but do it anyways?
trying not to think bad thoughts.
but it doesn't help when it makes me cry.
i don't want to cry anymore because i miss you.
i miss you so much.
i want my best friend back
i want my lover back.
but none of it seems real right now.
it seems so unlikely
and hopeless
and i feel like giving up
but i'm still in love with you.