moment for life

This song meant a lot more to me than i thought it would the first time i heard it. it hit me hard. and i'm glad it did. because now i'm back to me. i'm back to realizing i'm going to move on with what i want for myself. i have worked hard my whole life and i'm not going to stop now just because some shit went down. i'm going to find my happiness because its always been the main goal. and i don't give up.

i poured my heart out because i thought it would help. sometimes i want to just really lay in on you that its about time you open up because i can't be there for you the way you might need me too if you don't open up. i'm starting to feel like i'm running into a wall again. tell you me you care. tell me you how you feel. about me. about our relationship. about anything. just let me know because i can't be with someone i don't feel like i know again. i did that one already and that's why i had to leave. the only way i'm ever going to be able to really love all of you is if you finally let down that prison you've built around yourself because damn is it hard to find a way in. and i'm looking for the slightest crack but you've built it all up so well.

i didn't get a response and it did kind of hurt because i was looking for something. and when you said you had to process it. i can only let it go and give you the benefit of the doubt. but i'm starting to think its about time i just back off. i need to go back to my "i don't care" type of mood because then it won't bother me and you don't have to worry about it bothering me. but is that really the right thing to do? i'm thinking it might not be such a good idea that you can't communicate with me as much as maybe you should be. but the only thing i can see to do is exactly as i said and let you open up when you want. maybe the right time will be when its the right time for you and i can't push that. so i might as well just not care? i'm not even sure. i really wish you could just tell me so i would know what to do. but here goes nothing i guess.

there's is a light and i can see it. its far away and its kind of faint. but i can see it in the distance. and if it means finding what's right. then i'll keep trying as hard as i can to get to it. because something somewhere sometime is going to be at that light that makes everything in my life so much brighter. and isn't it worth giving everything you've got to get to that? well. to me it is. because too many people have tried to turn the lights off on me. and i'm afraid of the dark.