onenight - musiq soulchild

i couldn't find a video of the song to put on here so i put the lyrics. because its absolutely amazing:

All, all this time we've been wasting baby
You've been playing baby
Sending me all, all these signs
But never, never saying a word
See now I, I'm not trying to figure out, so how bout you.
Tell me what you wanna do? So I can give you all you want
If you just say it, so, say it baby.

I can understand if you're not ready
If you need me to be patient
Then I'm cool wit waiting
We can take our time, lets get it right
Make it last forever, not just for one night

Girl forgive me if I come across to forward baby
And if I offended you in any way baby
See I just wanna get next to you
Cuz being closer makes it better
When I get to know you baby
Tell me how am I suppose to do that when you
Keep leading me on and you keep pushing me away
When all along I know, yes I do
That you really want me to stay baby. Ooooh!

Look baby I know that you want me cause I could feel that
You you need me but you seem to be just a little afraid
That cools its ok, it's alright cause I want you baby
I mean I really want you baby. But if you need some time
I'm willing to wait just as long as you know that I want you girl
Cause I want you, but only when you say its oke
cause i want you, but I want you to want me too.

I want you to want me
Just as bad as I want you cause I can understand baby if you're
Not ready and if you need me to be patient wit you
I'll take my time wit you baby, I'll take my time as much time as you need so we can get this thing right girl and make it last forever. Cause I don't want you to feel I'm here for now and gonna be gone tomorrow, I want this to be the beginning of a beautiful relationship. Do you feel that baby I mean can you understand that, that's real. That's from my heart.


sometimes i know its hard to take me seriously because for someone who hasn't dealt with many people who are sincere it can be hard. but i'm always sincere and honest with my words. thats why sometimes it takes me a while to think of what i'm going to say because i really want to get it right and say what i'm really trying to say. sometimes i really just want you to believe me. because sometimes i really think i'm going to hear "oohhh baby baby" from smokey robinson and the miracles and know that when you hear that song its going to be about us. sometimes i wish love and fear didn't go hand and hand but i realize it does to know it means something to you. i want to let it grow the way it can. so i let go to give space, but feel like that only works against me.

its nice having him back in my life. i almost forgot what it was like having him around. having him missing in action for the last year almost year and a half was hard. we have never gone that long with hardly saying two words to each other. he's always been there for me. through the really hard stuff. its funny because i'll always remember the day he forced me out of that bed because i had been crying all day. or the way he kept in touch even when i moved away. the days i would have to talk him down for hours because a stupid girl broke his heart again. every one always trying to make our situation more than what it was. and at times i think we both believed them just at completely different times to come to the same conclusion that we are brother and sister. even though we might have these ups and downs we always come back to where we were. the best of friends. and that's kind of where i think we'll stick for a long while. or at least i hope so. its nice being able to talk to him again all day long. he was one of my calming factors. i'm just grateful my best friend is back.

i'm starting to think that even though i've been super happy lately, may is going to be the death of me. i'm not looking forward to may at all. i want it to come and go like it never happened. i am absolutely dreding may for 2 particular days. i just hope i make it ok. i'm just crossing my fingers i make it ok. that's all. that's all i need. i guess we'll see.

i told him i was giving up drawing. he said he went through the same thing with writing. i think eventually i will bring it back. its just funny because i used to only draw when i was really depressed or upset. i think i still do though. actually i still do now that i think of it. every thing i've ever drawn has been a result of me being really upset, angry, or depressed. all of which have been made for people i probably shouldn't have made it for. some of my best pieces were ruined because of it. even by people i gave them to. because its like only a matter of time before they either ruin them or throw them away. like i jinx myself by giving my work of art. i guess that's why i want to give it up. because my drawings have been like omens of bad things to come. wow.

she told me i should just continue writing it all down. to keep writing because when i write people want to read more. i remember him telling me my writing has always been this thing i do because i have things to say tha ti don't like to say to people and me writing to people who don't know me makes it easier for me to relay my stories to people because there is an unbiased way of expressing myself. its definitely true. i mean if i ever got this book published there are definitely certain people i wouldn't want to read it. but i guess that's only one in particular. and definitely depending on where we were when that happened depends on how i feel about it. love is always an inspiration of mine. i just hope i can relay my story in the way i really want it to be read. because it really is just my story. my life. my writing. the most intimate part of me. i think that's why i have to this career. because its something that i just fall into like its natural. its funny because sometimes i flip through my books especially my old ones and i find things i've written i have completely forgotten about over time and its like expressing myself in such a raw genuine way. that's what writing has always been for me. in everywhere it was everything. and i guess it always will be.