rain on me

"Im so tired of your turning tables. I wont let you close enough to hurt me."

Im racing through the rain in my car with the only thought to get away as far as i can. A part of me wish my car would just break down and stop me but i keep going faster. She told me you went to the party with another girl. He's asking her why she feels the need to tell me that especially knowing which girl it is. I want to be angry but it only again proves your talent of habit. I got my heart handed to me on a silver platter n yet somehow these instances keep finding their way to me although i've done so much to stay away from them and you. So i find myself racing through the rain hoping that when i come to a stop the tears i didnt notice were falling down my cheeks will stop too.

He sent me a picture of an elephant with hearts. He wants to see me but i just dont have it in me. They're telling me he's so hot it'd be a crime not to. But he would just be a rebound n i dont even think i want that right now. I have no idea what i want right now and although he has this way about him, i just dont know.

Today i wrote 2 info pieces on music electronic items that will be in print. My first anything in print. I also wrote my 2nd online review that went up today. 3 things to be proud of but all i keep thinking about is a portfolio so i can get a job elsewhere. They keep wanting me to write more stuff after my first review so i guess for now im doing okay.

Today i cut about 80% of my hair. Which is a lot. So far i've been told it goes with me. I just need to get used to it. She says in a couple months it'll already be long again. I know thats true i just needed a change n yet i feel the same. Somebody pinch me.

This would all be a lot easier if you would get out from under my skin.

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