because i'll never forget that moment

I just wanna clear the mess and explain myself



"I swear I always fall for your type. Tell me why I always fall for your type. I just can't explain this shit at all."

I'll never forget those words, that moment for the rest of my life. It was one of those times when you realize that you are someone worth something. I'm going to describe it like a movie scene because that's what it seemed like to me. i remember everything like it plays over in my mind:

He turned himself in front of me so he was sitting right in front of me looking me in the eyes as he grabbed my hand. They're sitting around like this is something serious and i'm wondering what's going to happen. and then he says:

"I know that you've been feeling empty. I heard you said you were starting to feel numb. That's why I had to tell you this. You need to know. I consider myself so lucky to have you in my life. You need to know how truly amazing you are. I have yet to meet a person that has anything bad to say about you right off the bat. I've never had to worry about introducing you to friends of mine you don't know. you always fit in with everyone and by the end of the night everyone loves you and is already adding you on facebook. You have always been this incredibly optimistic person that makes us all see how great we can really be. When people ask her why she went back to school do you know that she tells them its because her friend showed her that it was possible? You make things feel possible when we think we can't do it. You encourage us, support us, help us, and motivate us."




I am pretty speechless at this point. I look around and they're all looking at me so sincere and shaking their heads in agreement. I finally start feeling myself tearing up. Then he went on...

"To tell you the truth, when i heard what happened, the first thought that went through my head was 'Damn, I feel really bad for that dude.' and the reason why is because even as a friend, I can't imagine losing you or letting you go. I mean yah i had hoped for different things for us in the beginning but i know that i would much rather have you as a friend to have you in my life. But i can't imagine having feelings for you and having you as my girl and losing that. even to think about letting it go. because that would be so heartbreaking to know that i lost THE girl. The one that could have made me such a better person. because i know your exes and what happened to them after you guys would break up and it isn't pretty. I also know that even as your friend you have showed me i can do things to better myself and my life and i've had so many amazing experiences because of it. So i honestly feel really bad for the guy that let you go because he lost something pretty fucking amazing and i never want you to doubt that."

By this time i was pretty much blubbering like a baby. that was a lot to take in.



"'Cause i can't go on living in the memory of our song"

"I just think you needed to know. or at least be reminded. that you mean something to a lot of people. you are the real deal. and i'm sorry you got your heartbroken. i'm sorry all the time for that because i see you and i know you're trying. i know you're trying to put it all behind you but you care. and i know because of who you are and how forgiving you are and the fact that you have a big heart. there is still a window kinda still open for him. I know its hard and i know it hurts. but like she said, he's already hurt you enough to hurt yourself on top of that. he just needs to figure himself out obviously and that's okay. i just feel bad for him that he could really lose you forever if he doesn't figure that out first. and if he does. it's okay because you have us and i know someone special will come and find you."

He got up and gave me a hug and i really broke down and started crying. I don't think they'd ever seen me cry before and before i knew it, they were all gathered around me like a big huddle. and in that moment, I felt loved.



"If I could erase the pain, maybe you'd feel the same."





I'm ready for you to be ready for me,
take my hand and i'll show you a hell of a life.